WARNING: This post contains politically, culturally and racially impolite language and should not be read by anyone unless you have nothing better to do.
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What's the height of craziness? Looking through the keyhole of a glass door? Or buying shampoo for a bald man? I dont know, but I just did the second. But that's besides the point as far as this post goes. Anyways.
Before I came to MICA, I never quite ran into so many different people from so many different cultures around the country. The odd Sindhi or Sardar apart, most of my peer group comprised largely of Gujjus and Mallus alone. But seven months at this asylum, and I have observed few traits among the different communities here. Let me share the same with you. (Pardon me for the politically incorrect language and possible hurt to your sentiments. I have tried to live up to the democratic traditions of India and have attempted at not leaving out any prominent community.)
1. You can take a Mallu out of Kerala, but you can't take Kerala out of a Mallu - witness the admin office here.
2. The table manners of a South Indian are inversely proportional to the amount of grub on the table.
3. Three omellettes, butter toast and a glass of milk is a 'light' breakfast for a Punju.
4. All Marathis support the Shiv Sena. The more sectarian ones vote it.
5. Intervention and indiscretion are Bengali by origin.
6. The only way to make a first-generation Mallu speak accentless Hindi is to open his mouth wide open, pull out the incisors, staple his tongue and hope that the man says his lines right.
7. The general unrest in Bihar is a function of the upset tummies of Biharis.
8. A Gujju is to English what Osama is to America.
9. Expletives indicating incest come more easily to a Punju than oil and sacred thread to a TamBram.
10.The single biggest threat to the aquatic population of India is a Bengali.
11.The total number of honest, well-behaved, good-humoured, presentable persons with a taste for good things in life from Jharkhand, is one. And he is in MICA currently.
12.A Tamilian's idea of fun is a sad joke.
13.UPites have more knowledge than the rest of India put together. It's like their kids, you know.
14.When they talk of the cancer in the society, they are more often than not referring to Mallus.
15.There is no point selling widescreen televisions to Chinks. Their normal resolution of all things viewable is already 1024*512 pixels.
Enough scavengering culture for today.
1 comment:
"The single biggest threat to the aquatic population of India is a Bengali"
How can you forget mallus here ?
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